What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
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