She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize