shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
it's like iHOP with fire
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
