I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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