Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
