shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
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Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
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I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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