Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize