I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
