Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
