How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed