Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
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the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
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She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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