what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
tonight lets celebrate not being married
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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