I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams