Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless