He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
