he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?