i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i'm home, then i'll come over
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.