she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.