Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.