i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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