I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
