IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Randomize
