Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
