I'm so fucking centered right now
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
well I can't set my house on fire every night
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
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He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
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We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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