mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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