His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
