I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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