My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
