I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
