I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
