doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
