I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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