end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
