another moral hangover. fuck.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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