check it out our google latitudes are spooning
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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