some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
