Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Randomize
