The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
