PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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