I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
