Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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