she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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