Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
