i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize