As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
That accounts for only three of the penises
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
