My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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