I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
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