Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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