All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
