And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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