how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
