Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
