i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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