Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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