bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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