He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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