no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
