Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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