Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
