guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
