She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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