I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
That accounts for only three of the penises
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Randomize